Walking home from Lincoln feels strange. It’s been almost 4 months since I’ve done that. The fog is familiar, as well as that feeling I have and the thoughts running through my mind. Like always, I leave school with mind filled with…almost regret..and a strange feeling of loss and confusion. It’s the feeling I always have after talking to him.
Except now I’m different. I have learned so much more about life, I think. My perspectives have changed. I believe I’ve matured in many ways. I really missed the sound of his voice for the longest time after he was gone. So long before school was over. It took over much of my thinking space in my brain. It pretty much consumed me. I don’t know when or how, but eventually it was gone. I regretted for the longest time many things from that class. I poured my heart out into that letter and was so disappointed to never get a reply. I think I have finally let it go. This time, the embrace wasn’t painful. This time, I wasn’t shedding a lifetime of tears.
There is much that’s left to be said and will probably never be said, but we live on.
If I were given the chance to live senior year over again, would I do things differently? Probably should, but I wouldn’t. Learning from mistakes and regrettable moments are sometimes the best parts of experiencing things.
Goodbye Lincoln, for the last time in a while. You were an important part of my life and you hold so many memories that are precious. But now it’s time to turn away and move forward. Into the future.